Sleep

Ahh, the August 12th post seems so so long ago. I can't believe I had a whole night's sleep just two and a half weeks ago. I think that rest was supposed to last me until now. We've been having a heck of a time with C's sleeping. We had to regress to the "Ferber Progressive Waiting Approach" last night. I thought my days of "timing the screaming and entering the room to console a screaming child without being able to pick her up" were over until my next child. How mean is that approach anyway? I mean you go in there, pat the child, tell them everything is OK, lay them down and leave again ONLY to have him/her start screaming louder than before you entered the room. 3 min, 5 min, 7 min, 9 min. That's really only all it took though. Once she was finally asleep she slept through until 6am, at which point I regressed once again and handed her a bottle in her crib and went back to bed. She downed it and quietly fell back to sleep until 8. The approach might not be the cuddliest, but it sure does work.

I do have to say I felt SO much better today having had a good night's rest. I was on the verge of death yesterday. When your sleep is messed with, you might as well cancel everything on the calendar for that day and stay in your PJs. I'm so miserable on those days, no one wants to see me, believe me.

I will say that little C was just as tired and mixed up as I was yesterday. In an attempt to get her to nap so I could nap - which wasn't happening yesterday - I fed her everything in the house that I thought she would eat. That did the trick. Could it be that I'm not feeding her enough and something triggers her brain the second that I put her in the crib? Anyway, I think this photo says it all. After a really big snack yesterday afternoon she went into her crib at 3:45pm and slept until 7pm. One would think that would have messed up last night's sleep, but it didn't.

We are going to start to try to train her to take the one big afternoon nap instead of playing this morning and afternoon guessing game with her sleeping. Plus, I'm going to bump up the caloric intake during meals and snacks to try and satisfy that little belly.

I cooked her scrambled eggs in butter - which is a total no-no for the way I would prepare eggs for myself. It smelled SOOOOOO good though! A came in from walking the dog and he was like, "Wow! That's what breakfast is supposed to smell like." If only I was able to eat like a fourteen month old. They have no idea how good they have it! Imagine someone preparing you delicious foods, bathing you in nice warm water and then saying all you have to do is go in your nice comfy bed and nap. Heaven...

Ahh..So close...

So night two of our hopefully new sleeping pattern didn't go over as I had planned. C went down at 8:45 and was out like a light in no time. The all so familiar sounds of her muttering and grunting were quickly heard at 4:15am. I let her fidget for about half an hour then I went in to change her diaper. I held strong to my new "no nighttime bottle" policy. Although she was not happy to see me quickly disappear into the dark night right after her diaper change, she was back asleep by 5:15. It was a little hard to hear her crying and stirring around in her crib, but I know it's best for all of us to give this a good, hard shot. I truly believe that I have fostered this nighttime waking by going in and being her source of comfort. I know she is able to self soothe, I just need to have the patience - when I am about to fall over tired and just want her to go back to sleep - to let her practice this skill.

So because she didn't have a bottle in the night NOR did she have one during the day - sippy straw cup all the way - that's two days in a row without a bottle! I think this could be it. I think I might have washed my last bottle until baby number 2 comes along. Wow, I really disliked washing those bottles. They have five parts to take apart and wash. I'm going to encourage a different, simpler version for my next child.

My husband's away at a conference for the weekend so I'll have to be strong and battle the nighttime cries alone. It's always easier to have someone else here to remind me that it's OK if she cries and she'll go back to sleep (eventually). I'm hoping by the time he's back she's sleeping through the night or just simply returning to sleep with a new diaper and not a bottle.

Wish her (and me) luck!!!

A Dream Come True

When I quickly awoke to my husband's alarm this morning at 6am, I thought something was terribly wrong. C hadn't woken up AT ALL last night. No whining, muttering, crying, wet diapers, need for milk - at say 1am, 2am, 3am, 4am - nothing. Complete silence. That doesn't mean that I didn't wake up on my own and have a spoonful of ice cream and a piece of bread at 12am, but that's besides the point. That's my own vice and I'm hoping to grow out of it (before it causes me to grow out of my clothes).

She actually slept all night! You may be thinking that she's like four months old or something, but at almost fourteen months old, she hasn't slept through the night in probably the last seven months. I've just resigned to the fact that my kid doesn't sleep. The other day at music class another mother and I watched as our children made googlie eyes at one another and ran the room looking for mischief. She asked, "Are you totally exhausted at night? Because I am." I answered with a "for sure" yes and also added that C didn't sleep well at night on top of being super active throughout the day. I've actually given up that it will even happen. I've managed to learn to function on fragmented sleep - minus the time I left the house door wide open, went out and forgot, came home to discover the open door, freaked out, called 911 and realized when the police arrived that it was just me and I forgot...but that's another post.

I should have known that she would sleep like a rock last night. After swim class we took C and Q for a walk and she was so, so tired. The good kind of tired where she just lays in her stroller, so calm and peaceful staring up at you and then the sky as her blinks get slower and slower and her eyes begin to droop right in front of you. That's the great kind of tired vs. the "screaming and kicking off of shoes tired" that happens when mommy's pushed the limit at Target.

She went down instantly when we got back from our walk and I didn't hear her until 6:45 this morning when her eyes popped open and she was ready to say, "Good morning WORLD!"

The best part about not waking in the night is that she didn't have to have the every so necessary BOTTLE to go back to sleep at 4:45, that's right, at fourteen months I still hand over a bottle full of warm milk at this God awful hour to get her to go back to sleep. Worst parenting mistake. It wasn't until she was like 9 months old that I read an article somewhere that after like 5 months they shouldn't need to eat in the night. I was all "WHHHAAATTTT???" I created a nighttime bottle monster because I didn't READ THE BOOKS.

I've been trying so hard to transition her to sippy cups instead of bottles, which has been quite the challenge I tell you. I finally found one, after seeing my friend's son with one. A munchkin soft straw cup, that she will actually use. I have this mental problem though. I won't consider her graduated from a bottle to a sippy cup until she will use the kind that has the traditional hard spout with three holes in it. You know, a sippy cup.

Anyway, it was such a milestone reached when I realized that she slept all night, was able to take her downstairs, warm some milk (she likes her drinks warm, sweet princess), put it in her "sippy" cup and have her drink it with her giant blue stuffed bear in the living room! What a great feeling!

Now I'm sure that this will not happen again tonight, but I will celebrate this accomplishment for the next fourteen hours and look forward to the next time it happens!

Our Little Fishy

I'm having so much fun participating in all of these baby enrichment classes! I'm not so sure about baby C, but I'm surely loving it. Last night we had our first of eight swimming lessons. I registered for the evening class so A could join us and assist with the drying and changing the baby at the end of the swimming session. I am sure you have heard someone, if it wasn't you yourself, say that they took their baby to swim class. Have you ever really sat and thought about what that actually involves?

Mistake number one - putting the baby in her "swim diaper" before we left the house. I knew this so I don't know why I made the mistake, but did you know that those special diapers are made to contain poop, not absorb pee? It makes sense because the diaper would hold ten pounds of pool water in a nanosecond. So picture it. I put the baby in her swim diaper thirty minutes before class. That means she peed on daddy, peed on me, and peed in her car seat on the way to swimming! Luckily I put a plastic bad and a towel on her car seat when I realized why we were all wet!

Mistake number two - Mommy wore a bathing suit with a full front zipper. That means that baby can pull the zipper down. It was nice to see that my post baby breasts float in the water giving them the appearance that they are ten years younger, but family swim lessons is not the place for this type of revelation. Next week I'll pin that sucker closed.

Success number one - bringing daddy along for the ride! It was so fun to have him there and although I know I looked like the mom that couldn't handle this so she brought along support - I couldn't give a rat's ass! If those people knew how I run this show solo, almost exclusively, they'd be cheering me on that I finally had some help! If I ever needed his set of hands, it was last night. Which brings me back to asking if you ever really thought about swim lessons with a baby. A soaking wet baby, a soaking wet mom, and a yucky wet floored locker room. How exactly do you pull this off alone? Hopefully daddy will come every week and I won't have to figure that one out.

Success number two - taking swimming lessons in the summer. This is upstate NY and it's cold in July. I did my best to dry us off but we were still damp. I could NEVER imagine doing this is the dead of the winter. They offer classes then! You won't see C or I there come snow season. Snow and swimming, no thank you.

Success number three - babies and swimming equal exhaustion (for both of us). It wasn't long before both of us were asleep after swimming. I'd love to report that it was for the whole night, but last night turned out to be a three time wake up night. Binky, diaper, and morning milk - mommy at your service...

We are all looking forward to next week's lesson. Who knows, maybe I can even hold the camera this time and daddy can take the plunge!

Now She's One!

The party weekend was fantastic. I freaked out the morning of because the weather did not cooperate with my "barbecue" theme. It poured buckets. I'm surprised the basement didn't flood. It's probably because the weed roots are so intertwined beneath the 17 inches of mulch around the foundation of the house, that not even water can get through. Anyway, it was a really "rainy feel bad for anyone who was planning an outdoor party" kind of day. My behavior was out of control. I was the party planner from hell and I felt really bad about my snippy outbursts. Only if you were in my house that morning would you know just how bad I felt. I have repeatedly apologized to those people who happened to be here that morning. Anyway, they have forgiven me because they are my family and they have to :)

Once the guests started to arrive everything fell into place. The kids really enjoyed the music and movement activities my genius friend Jen, who happens to be a music teacher, led them in. The adults got to eat in peace and the kids sang, danced, and almost jumped their way though the ceiling with their excitement. Little C thoroughly enjoyed her cupcake and needed a bath mid party to clean the frosting off of her. Don't you love being one? Getting stripped down naked at your own birthday party and it's totally acceptable? No facebook pictures surfacing the next day to ruin your life or anything! All of the partying made her so tired that after her bath she took a nap.

While she slept we all sat around and ate cake and opened her presents. They were all so fun! When she woke from her nap to find new toys strewn about the living room, she was especially happy!

We can't thank our family enough for traveling the distance to celebrate this special event with us. Our hometown friends made the party complete. We thank everyone for their generosity. Happy Birthday little C!

If You're Happy and You Know It

It is amazing how being proud can make you feel like you are on top of the world. Watching my child grow and learn new skills makes me want to burst with excitement and bring her out into the world to yell, "Look! Look at what she can do! She can hold a sock to her foot. She knows it goes there!" Parenting is the best. Today as we were driving back from Target for the fourth time this week, while listening to Barney's Great Adventure (what is playing 90% of the time I am behind the wheel), the purple dinosaur's rendition of If You're Happy and You Know It began blaring through my speakers. I glanced in the rear view mirror and there was little C, clapping her hands at the appropriate time! Now I thought it was a miracle that she clapped when I asked her to, but now she's doing it for Barney while no one is watching (or so she thinks). This is a huge step in her language development. This baby understand words! I love it. I was so happy, I started clapping too. Can you really get this kind of satisfaction at work? I think not.

I'm Neurotic

Ok. There I said it. I believe if someone can admit their own faults than perhaps they are somewhere on the road to fixing them. I am neurotic and I hate it. Being neurotic steals all the fun away from things. I get so excited about things such as getting together with friends, planning a party, participating in celebrations, decorating, crafting, painting, and making things - to name a few. However that little lady inside my brain who whispers the need for perfection in EVERYTHING takes over and makes all of the above no longer fun.

I've spent some time lately thinking about how and why this came to be part of my personality. Having gotten married just six years ago, I can clearly (well, almost clearly) remember the wedding planning process. I was an involved bride and certainly had certain things that I WANTED for MY wedding day, but I was not neurotic. A perfect example is when I was totally cool, relieved in fact, to use the "house" centerpieces at my shower. Thought it was a great idea. And although they were gorgeous and saved money and were way prettier than something I could afford to make, I would NEVER agree to such a thing now. Everything has to be special and unique and that is down right STRESSFUL.

I am SO SO SO excited about C's first birthday party next weekend. So many of our friends and family are coming to visit and stay for the weekend. I think we have a really nice party planned. First of all, we have the cutest baby in all the land to celebrate, we have good food, great people, adorable decorations and entertainment for the kids. So why am I stressing about the algae that is on the siding 25 feet high on my house? Or the seventy year old windows on the second floor that don't open so I can't clean them properly? Or the slightly broken door that we can't quite afford to fix right now? These things don't really matter to people, do they? And do they really matter to me or am I just worried that they will matter to our guests? I've told you about the gardening and the landscape. I spent another couple of hours out there this week and things are looking pretty good. Not perfect, but OK. Will it matter to anyone else that there are weeds? I sure hope not.

So in my reflection, the only thing I can come up with is the fact that I moved three times in four years and had to start new jobs each time. So that means I taught in four states in the matter of five years. Contrary to the popular belief that "teachers have an easy life and we can say or do what we want to children or we can plan our lessons ahead of time or not plan them at all because no one is monitoring us" it is NOT that way. I assure you that starting over in a new state in a new grade is hard, you do have to have patience with children at all times, and your lessons better darn well be planned ahead of time and executed PERFECTLY because someone is WATCHING (and judging) ALL OF THE TIME. And I do believe that that is how it should be. I would never as a professional try to get away with any less than what is absolutely in the best interest of children. But that requires a mentality that things are "just right" or "perfect" because your job and reputation depend on it. If you stay in the same place and job your reputation takes you a long way. When you are new you are always proving yourself. So I came to the conclusion that being in new situations - state, job, home, social circle - has caused me to become neurotic. I always feel the need to have things perfect.

And maybe this year, as I am in my new role as mommy, the anxiety about having everything "just so" is heightened. And even though I know and believe that little C could care less about weeds, broken doors, or algae it stills eats away at me - just a little. Not enough that I will take off my cute sundress and put on old clothes and go scrub it, but enough that it will continue to pop into my brain until the party is over.

Live a simple life. That's what I keep telling myself. It doesn't have to be perfect. I deserve to rest and relax sometimes too, don't I? It's a process and hopefully, sooner than later, I'll get there.